Chaos

Whatsapp_image_2020-05-09_at_6.01.54_am__2_by LJ.04 Sep 2020

Every heartbeat cannot be ignored
Heavy beating on my chest
In chaos it is
Every breath feels like needles
I feel it all
I’m aware
I’m awake wide awake
Like an axeman cutting off the tree of hope
It hurts
It hurts and I feel it
Heavy beating feels like it’s gonna jump out of my chest
My heart is in agony
Unbearable pain
I cannot control
I numb myself from a time to another
Then when wide awake
I’m alone and I feel it
I wanna get out
I wanna leave it too
You’re not the only one wanting to leave
You’re not the only one in pain
Look at the mess you made
Inside of this container
I picture it in red
I picture it going blue
Then turning white and cold as ice
Did it break you
Or were you broken before
I’m hurt
You hurt me
We hurt us
Who are we
One, two, or three
Maybe four
We cannot rule
We will not work
What do we do
How do we work it out
The pictures are haunting me
Red, blue then cold
Peace isn’t it?
Peace would be when this war comes to an end
I feel it
It comes to an end
When we surrender
We give in
Hold still
Fight back
The tree is on a slide
I feel it
Back to numb and it’s hard to ignore
Let it go they say
They talk
They don’t see
What are we
What am I and what do I feel
Insane, call me
It doesn’t hurt anymore
With overwhelming agony
The norm
The norm
The norm
I’m insane I’m a psychopath
I see it in red, blue and cold
I picture it fall empty
Shatter
Alone
Like a glass, it shatters
Pieces shushing one another as they fall
Empty and broken
Lying static
With no more voices
No more sounds
No more fights ending a war