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Poetic views on my own shit...

Hawaiian Heroin

Cam00730by Beautiful Felon24 Mar 2014

if one person goes to you and says that they feel you have gone crazy, and another person says the same thing maybe its your judgement that is hazy, but if a third person comes to you claiming the same as the first two, it's really no longer an assumption as it is a statement that is true, and maybe they all had good caring intentions to have you seek help of some kind, or maybe they got tired of being the target for the game you created in your mind, my brain seems to be working now I don't have a problem writing this down, I'm no longer searching for some kind of life while stranded inside this ghost town, but no matter how many times this is picked apart for me to see, I will never understand why I can't just let it go entirely, I will stand my ground when I say that from this I have learned my lesson, letting something I can not control become my dark depression, you took from me my ability to trust and my desire to hold friendships close, you became a drug that makes me ill but longing for just one more dose, I guess in a sense you've become, to me, the one drug you yourself despise, I watched you turn into your own type of heroin right before my eyes, taking the lives of those who trusted you and pulling on there puppet strings, filling the minds of the weak with the most fucked up twisted things, you never fucked with black unless feeding it to the addict you claimed was your friend, then setting him up so he gets locked away and your records clean once again, everything you ever said that you, as a man, stood for, you lack the ability to stand by your words so your words don't mean shit any more, there are those who do drugs and maintain a functioning habit, and those who look like they can 'hang' but really shouldn't have it, they started to question you but under there breath because you handled there addiction, and remained silent even when your accusations became obvious contradictions, what other human will zip tie a kid and make him think he's going to die, because of assumptions that he came up with when he was high, a friend none the less, someone he claimed as his family, then turn around and say his head was working clearly, his mind was not jaded or altered and sobriety he did not lack, yet questioned why his one true love was never coming back, It wasn't the drugs that became too much, it wasn't the fact that you withheld from her your touch, it had nothing to do with the days you would spend away from your home, I heard the conversations she tried telling you she felt all alone, but it couldn't have been the distance you created between you two, because it's easier to blame other's for the hell you put her through, your right she didn't deserve that shit it makes her smarter that she bounced, and since then your life kept getting worse with every quarter ounce, the debt kept getting deeper the money eventually ran out, all because of everyone else you claim without a doubt, the only thing about you now that no one can really question, is in fact you are Hawaiian but you're also just like heroin, you would rather share your weakness so you no longer feel so alone, you make sure if it doesn't go your way we will feel you deep in our bones, regretting the moment we let go and put our trust inside the hands, of someone who lies better then anybody will understand, make it all look pretty make this life look glorified, we can all make it to the top as long as we all tried, your world had fallen from under you and shattered like fragile glass, that wasn't enough to get you to stop your trip was one that would last, I put all my trust in you and had nothing better to do, I myself was a perfect little human wreck my future seemed short too, so I gave you my word in earlier days when this ship was set to sail, no matter how rocky the waters got I had your back I wouldn't bail, but the waves kept getting stronger they even hit us at full force, and I was left aboard that ship with you swimming hectically to shore, I've kicked months of forcefully injected heroin by someone as fucked up in the head as you, in time I'm sure it will get easier to kick this Hawaiian Heroin too...