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My dad died in August 2011. The day that he died I was alone, which was unusual for me. I had no idea what to do with myself….

The Grieving Manual

Photo_on_13-01-2014_at_16.49__3by Esther Dangerfield03 Jan 2014

I sat for a moment on the bed
Phone in hand.
Contact gone.
A dog howled
in the neighbourhood. And yet the day was yellow.
So the natural thing - to walk along
that path
grown aside for thinkers.
With me, three birds performed
over the tips of grasses, for you I think. For me to see
and to cry for.
It all seemed appropriate.

Alone so far and home.
I played Floyd too loud to think.
The needle lifted solitary silence.
Without checking the grieving manual.
I braved the town.
A top caught my eye
that resembled
Victorian fashion.
And well, you loved history
As you know, do I.
I bought it to wear that day.
The cashier did not ask
if I was okay. I did not
tell her
That you
Had died that day.