The Next Big Problem

10600587_10204764587811044_3323353174422219428_nby Devin Mitchell Durbin01 Sep 2013

You would think I’d figured it out,
But I still don’t know what I want,
Or what I want to believe.
Though I know without a doubt.
I don’t want to go down the road
That I was on. I can’t go on.
Though it’ll be hard to explain
What’s wrong under my skin,
But when do you decide
It’s okay to think only for you
Even when it’s disregarding
Your very own family?
Is it ever okay to abandon them
Even if it’s going to save your life?
Do you explain the darkness,
Is it right of you to expect forgiveness?
Though will they forgive you,
For saying that you’ll be tempted
To start drinking, to continue toking,
That you’d get angry, and punch someone else,
Drink a whole bottle of Jaeger
And drown yourself in the darkness,
Pretending to have fun.
Though deep inside you know you’re dying
And is it time to save yourself,
When your family wants to take you somewhere
That will tempt you further than ever?
You might not wake up after it,
It’s not their fault either;
That’s the worst part,
They would feel guilty
And think it’s them,
When in reality,
The next big problem
Has always been me.