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I was working out, and this song "You should have Killed Me When You Had the Chance" came on by ADTR. It started me thinking how during this second work out session it was harder than the first, but, that I was done letting myself be defeated, and that if Satan, or my old self, wanted me to fail so much they should have ended it, they should have known that eventually I would be fed up with all of it, and that I would be ready to fight for my life, for my rights, and to be free to pursue God with all of my being.

You Should have Killed Me

10600587_10204764587811044_3323353174422219428_nby Devin Mitchell Durbin13 Mar 2014

You should have killed me when you had the chance
if you hate who I want to become so much;
because I refuse to let you stop me now.

You can scream at me
and degrade me.
You can break my bones
and bury me;
but God is right here beside me.

You can turn my family's back on me,
make me homeless and hungry
but I refuse to let you stop me now.

You can take my freedom away from me
and leave me with absolutely nothing
but I refuse to let you stop me now.

You should have killed me when you had the chance
I was right there, in the palm of your hands
I was so close to drowning myself
all you had to do was finish this yourself,
you're a coward.

I'm so done with hiding,
from all the hurt that has left me dying
I am more than the thoughts that have said
"You deserve to be dead,"
because I am deserving of death,
for I sinned against you, my father;
but the glory of grace
is that it's not over yet
and you loved enough to save me.

You should have killed me when you had the chance.