That's How it Feels

10600587_10204764587811044_3323353174422219428_nby Devin Mitchell Durbin01 May 2014

Anxious, bleeding, bloody, red
and in my head I'm screaming
yelling- feeling dead.
What is a will when you don't
know how to feel,
inspired
but you're tired.
Running ragged in your stead
instead
you hide behind the hour glass
sleeping on and off
without trying to get onward
forward, I'm in a self imposed
medical ward.
Call me crazy
but that'd be lazy
call me messed up in the head.
I do it all the time
and I'm just being honest
with how I feel.
I don't write prose
or poetry
I write thoughts as they come
from the mind
to the keyboard
to the temple
to the tablet
the piece of paper
that will get tossed in the trash
That's how it feels.
And it seems to me
i'm losing track of the time
and I hope you don't take it personal
when I say that I hate everything
and that I hate everyone
and every passing moment
some days.

This is my mind caught up in passing fancy.
This is my heart caught up in the fact that I feel I don't belong in my family.
And I run. And I run. And I run.
That's how it feels.