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It took a long time to be able to talk about this at all. None of my closest friends (all of whom I've known for decades) knew even; just the armed forces, a hospital and the police.

The first part of my healing involved dealing with the guilt that I had somehow brought this on myself by letting my guard down and the shame of being "bested".

I feel differently now.
My closest friends and family now know the extent of what happened. There have been many tears - theirs, not mine. I don't blub ;)
But the healing began last year and is going well.

I no longer feel a need to conceal out of shame and guilt and with a more objective outlook, I realise just what a nightmare I must have seemed to the cowards that held me hostage and tried to take my life.
MY life. The life that belongs to me, that I deserve to keep.

I didn't give an inch. Not once. I kicked, punched, and even bit (hey, when you're unarmed you use what you have!).
And every time I regained consciousness, I fought them again, and again and again.
I hit their balls, broke noses, split lips and eyebrows and even cracked heads.

I left one of my teeth embedded in one of their forearms...

I was in a very bad way when I got away. But I DID get away.

I survived.

And now I can hold my head high and say, my nightmares will go in time with healing.
But I was THEIR worst nightmare and that makes me smile.

I may never win any Tom Cruise lookalike contests, but I am strong and I will ALWAYS stand up to brutal extremists.

This poem is my middle finger to people that think religion is a basis or excuse for extreme violence and murder.

You think you bested me

Evil-minionby Ethel Twigg20 Apr 2015

You think you bested me
but it wasn't a fair fight
there were more of you
and you had guns
but I left you with scars that night.

I fought back and I may not have won
but you got the shock of your lives
I never quit; never did, never will
my spirit will always strive

So come again, if you dare
I owe you for years
of nightmares & working too many hours
to block out my fears

I'm older, wiser and tougher now
and I see you for what you are
only cowards rely on guns and numbers
to take down the unarmed

I still see your sly faces
when I'm vulnerable at night
but those nightmares days are numbered
as I continue the fight

A fight that you can't win now
I have allies on my side
people that actually love me
along for the ride

And a healing angel
with a gentle touch
that knows how to undo
what you did

You thought you bested me
but my fears will eventually go
your faces a fading memory
Bet you'll still have your scars though

So glad I gave you something to remember me by :)