My "surrogate dad" was a wonderful man and my girlfriends father. We were very close (unusually for "in laws").

We both found some peace of mind, by moving to Cyprus, away from the guns, violence and other experiences he and I had in common.

In his case, decades of serving in the armed forces in Northern Ireland, dealing with the fallout of bombings and shootings.

In my case, abuse as a child and then being held hostage, tortured and abused as a serviceman

Our island retreat was the first time either of us felt we could live without looking over our shoulders.

I have much more I need to express about this subject, but it's difficult to describe the absence of something horrible you'd held inside for so long.