by Glenn McCrary 11 Jun 2014
“Two faces -- both as perfect as mine once was.” ~ Two-Face
[Do just stood there in a state of slight bewilderment.]
DR. NIGHTMARE: Come to my office now!
DO: For what?
DR. NIGHTMARE: I’m not going to ask you again, Do.
DO: Look with all due respect sir I did nothing wrong.
DR. NIGHTMARE: And if you were really as respectful as you claim you would do as I ask.
SPORE: Do just go. Don’t make this harder than it needs to be.
[Do opens his mouth and attempts to speak but Spore cuts him off.]
SPORE: I’ll go with you…
DO: Spore you don’t have to do that for me.
SPORE: Well I want to...
DO: But why?
SPORE: Because it is my fault that you are in this situation. The least that I can do is offer my emotional support in your time of need.
[Tears began to well up within Do’s eyes.]
DO: Thank you Spore.
SPORE: No problem Do. You helped me in my time of need when no one else would. I’m just trying to return the favor.
[Do smiled at Spore. Spore returned the smile. Do turned his attention to Dr. Nightmare.]
GUM: We’ll be here when you get back, Do.
SWEAT: Do what you need to do bro.
DO: Thanks guys. Okay Dr. Nightmare. Let’s go.
[Do & Spore follow Do from the lunch yard back into the asylum. Five minutes pass before they reach Dr. Nightmare’s office. Dr. Nightmare escorts Do & Spore into his office. Anaïs was standing in the corner by Dr. Nightmare’s desk. She was wearing a jet black dress with a large red plus symbol on the front of it to symbolize her expertise of her chosen field. She waved at Do. Do waved back. She was also wearing bright red high heels. Dr. Skitz and Dr. Crocker were also present on the opposite of Dr. Nightmare’s desk. Dr. Nightmare lights a cigarette, takes a hit, inhales the smoke and begins speaking.]
DR. NIGHTMARE: Please have a seat both of you.
[Do and Spore proceeded to have a seat in the chairs behind them.]
DR. NIGHTMARE: Do you know why I invited you into my office?
DO: I have some idea. Could you please explain a bit further?
[Spore giggled. Do lightly elbows Spore in her arm.]
DR. NIGHTMARE: But of course Mr. Nino. I would never want my patients to have to constantly wonder about life’s trials.
[Dr. Nightmare takes another hit of his cigarette and blows the smoke in Do and Spore’s direction.]
DR. NIGHTMARE: You are here today because we have been made aware of a couple of incidents that you have been involved in. These particular incidents go against the rules and overall moral conduct code of Black Wick Asylum.
DO: Oh, well please excuse my originality.
[Spore, Anaïs, Dr. Crocker and Dr. Skitz begin to chuckle together.]
DR. NIGHTMARE: Are you trying to be funny?
DO: Well if you refer to the idea or moreso the simple ability to act stupid then yes.
DR. NIGHTMARE: This is exactly why you are in here right now.
DO: Yeah, for an incident of which I am technically morally innocent. It is the concept that exists within your brains that causes the majority of society to view such an act from more of a bigoted perspective. Now put the motherfucking cigarette down and get to the point. You have five minutes.
SPORE: Do what the he—
[Do places his finger to Spore’s lips to silence her.]
DO: I know what I’m doing.
[Do removes his finger from Spore’s lips.]
DR. NIGHTMARE: Very well then, Do.
[Dr. Nightmare takes one last hit of his cigarette before putting it out upon his ashtray. He picks up a small remote from his desk, moves his office chair around and points the remote towards a medium sized camera sitting on the wall directly across from where Dr. Crocker and Dr. Skitz were standing.]
DR. NIGHTMARE: Please turn the lights off, Anaïs.
NURSE YUCKI: Yes, Dr. Nightmare.
[Anaïs turns the lights off. Dr. Nightmare pushes play. The video begins. Dr. Nightmare decides to fast forward the video then resumes playing at the part where WiFi was about to hit Spore. Do then blocked WiFi’s punch. They briefly argued then WiFi took another swing at Spore. Do once again blocked WiFi’s punch and began ramming his elbow directly into WiFi’s nose instantly breaking it. Do continued hitting WiFi before finally slamming his rib cage directly on his knee. Dr. Nightmare paused the video.]
DR. NIGHTMARE: When exactly were you planning to tell me this Do?
DO: I wasn’t sir. Why should it be my job to inform you of such a situation as chaotic as this? Doesn’t this place have cameras?
DR. NIGHTMARE: This is an asylum, Do. Of course we have cameras. Unfortunately the day that you and WiFi got into that fight my cameras were malfunctioning due to a glitch in the system. Some of my cameras were working just fine that day. The other cameras weren’t working at all. A lot of the malfunctioning cameras had nothing but static screens on them particularly the camera in the cafeteria.
DO: So then how did you get footage of us fighting?
DR. NIGHTMARE: I hired several assistants to monitor and record any and all activity that goes on in the rooms that contained the malfunctioning cameras. There was somebody in there monitoring you the entire time and you didn’t even know it.
DO: But who was it?
DR. NIGHTMARE: That’s not important, Do. As the head of this institution I must do what I have to do to keep up with all daily activities of this institution. Frankly, if any such activity does not concern or affect you then what business is it of yours?
DO: How much time do you have?
DR. NIGHTMARE: Not enough time in the world.
DO: So then let’s move on.
DR. NIGHTMARE: Right. The next thing I wish to discuss with you are the results of your four dimensional emotion detector tests.
DO: Well this should be interesting.
DR. NIGHTMARE: Yeah, don’t hold your breath kid. Since Dr. Crocker was in charge of your happiness, sadness and fear tests you will be talking to him first. Carry on Dr. Crocker.]
DR. CROCKER: Thank you, Dr. Nightmare. How are you doing today Do?
DO: I’m doing just fine sir. Thank you for asking. How are you?
DR. CROCKER: Splendid sir. Alright Do let’s discuss your test results.
DO: I’m listening.
DR. CROCKER: Okay one minor detail that we must note is that each test is rated by any number from one through five with five being the highest and one being the lowest. You scored a five on both your happiness and sadness tests.
DO: What memory did I envision for the sadness test again?
DR. CROCKER: From what I’m reading it says that you envisioned the memory of when your ex-girlfriend Oku broke up with you.
DO: Yeah, that was a pretty sad memory. I spent every night that September crying myself to sleep every night. It hurt so bad.
DR. CROCKER: I understand. Now the memory you chose for your fear test consisted of a series of scenarios in which you were abandoned. The most effective memory of those scenarios was of a mysterious woman abandoning you. Would you care to explain that?
DO: I don’t wanna remember… Even though I clearly still and always will remember, I choose to avoid anything that causes me to reminisce about it.
DR. CROCKER: Understood. Well I thought you’d like to know that you scored a five on your fear test too. You have a knack for selecting the deepest memories of your psyche.
DO: That is what you wanted is it not?
DR. CROCKER: Nothing more and nothing less.
DO: Is there anything else I need to know regarding these test results?
DR. CROCKER: Your diagnosis, yes. Judging by how high you scored on these tests I am afraid that I have to diagnose you with bipolar and borderline personality disorder.
DO: That explains all those manic episodes of extreme euphoria and depression.
DR. CROCKER: Perhaps, yes. I’ll be turning you over to Dr. Skitz for the rest of your test results.
DR. SKITZ: Thank you, Dr. Crocker. Okay Do I’m gonna just cut corners and get to the fucking point with your results.
DO: Thank you, Dr. Skitz.
DR. SKITZ: No problem, Do. We all have precious and valuable time. The last thing we should want to do is waste it.
DO: That is a very good point doctor.
DR. SKITZ: So with that being said I am pleased to inform you that you scored a five on your anger test but, you scored a three on both your anxiety and depression tests.
DO: Alright go ahead. Lay it on me.
DR. SKITZ: Do, you have schizophrenia.
DO: So bipolar and schizophrenia huh? Sounds interesting.
DR. SKITZ: This isn’t a game Do. This is your health we are discussing.
DO: Yes, I know. I was being sarcastic.
DR. SKITZ: Anyways that concludes your diagnosis. I’ll turn you back over to Dr. Nightmare now.
DR. NIGHTMARE: Thank you gentlemen.
DR. CROCKER & DR. SKITZ: You’re welcome, sir.
DR. NIGHTMARE: So what did you think of your test results, Do?
DO: I think they were slightly shocking though not surprising.
DR. NIGHTMARE: I have to honestly say that I agree with you on that one. Anyways with all nonsense aside I’ve decided to make a deal with you.
DO: And what is this deal that you speak of, sir?
DR. NIGHTMARE: Well since you are our newest patient I’ll let you off with a warning. Should you happen to break these rules again you will be paying some serious consequences. You are dismissed.
DO & SPORE: Thank you sir.
[Do and Spore get up and proceed to exit Dr. Nightmare’s office.]
SPORE: So who do you think was recording us in the cafeteria today, Do?
DO: Your guess is as good as mine Spore. Had I known who it was I wouldn’t have been questioning Dr. Nightmare about it in the first place.
SPORE: Good point. By the way Do don’t worry about those tests. It is something that every patient has to go through before being officially considered for enrollment here. Also you’re fine the way you are in my opinion.
DO: Thank you, Spore.
SPORE: So do you have a room mate? More importantly do you have a room?
DO: No I do not.
SPORE: You can room with us. There are four beds in our room with two beds in each room. We have room for one more mate.
DO: Okay. Thank you, Spore.
SPORE: No problem, Do.
DO: So how do we get to our room?
SPORE: Well, this asylum is seven stories high. Our room is on the sixth floor. We stay in room 666. There is an elevator straight down the hall on your first left.
DO: Alright then let’s go.
[Do and Spore continue down the hall arriving at the elevators in less than a minute. Spore presses the button as she waits for the elevator to arrive. The elevator finally arrives. Its doors open wide inviting Do and Spore in. Do and Spore walk in as the doors close behind them.]
9 HOURS LATER….
[ A man dressed in a long, red hoodie walks up the stairs leading to Black Wick’s infirmary. He pushes the wooden oak double doors open. The entire infirmary was dark except for the moonlight that was shining throughout. He approaches one of the patients in the infirmary. The patient he had selected happened to be a young man. He had long, wavy, red hair and pearly, white skin. The man began aggressively shaking the patient.]
DR. NIGHTMARE: Wake up, WiFi!!!!! WAKE UP NOW!!!!!!!!
[WiFi began mumbling in his sleep.]
WIFI: Can’t I just go on the roller coaster one more time…? Please…?
[WiFi slowly drifted back into a deep sleep. Dr. Nightmare grabbed a wooden bucket from the corner of WiFi’s night stand. He walked over to the sink and filled the bucket with cold water. Dr. Nightmare then walks over to WiFi’s bedside and pours the water all over him. WiFi was startled awake.]
WIFI: OKAY! OKAY! I’M AWAKE! DON’T HURT ME!!!
[WiFi looks up only to see a giant pair of red eyes and attempts to scream. Dr. Nightmare quickly takes his hand and covers Wifi’s mouth.]
DR. NIGHTMARE: Quiet fool! It’s me!
[WiFi stops screaming which was Dr. Nightmare’s cue to remove his hand from his mouth.]
WIFI: Dr. Nightmare?
DR. NIGHTMARE: Yes.
WIFI: What are you doing here?
DR. NIGHTMARE: I have come to ask a favor of you.
WIFI: What do you need?
DR. NIGHTMARE: I need you to stalk Do and his friends.
WIFI: What’s in it for me?
DR. NIGHTMARE: You get to stalk your ex-girlfriend.
[WiFi begins to bare a wickedly evil grin.]
WIFI: When do we start?