Twelve ways of burning the flag

Jcorelis3by Jon Corelis06 Nov 2013

Put a sign outside your house reading FLAGS BURNED HERE and stick a tiny flag decal on the button of your door bell so when they ring the bell to abuse you they will have to abuse the flag first.

Or buy a bunch of tiny flag decals and a bag of charcoal and stick a decal to each piece of the charcoal and sneak the bag back into the store for somebody else to buy.

If someone talks about how awful flag burning is pull out a flag and a lighter and say "Fifty bucks buys this flag or it’s history."

Cut a large flag into strips and use them to wrap a mannequin like a mummy and put it into a coffin and carry it in the Memorial Day parade.

Create your own personal flag and then burn an American flag and when they get mad at you hand them your personal flag and say "Hell you can burn mine here."

When you are in a group that has to recite the Pledge of Allegiance say it loudly and clearly but in Elmer Fudd’s voice: "I pwedge awegiance to the fwag..."

Call up National Geographic and tell them you want to do a story about this weird primitive country where the natives have a taboo tribal fetish object and if anyone lets it come into contact with fire they lock them up in a cage.

Stand on a busy street corner with a burning flag in one hand and a guitar in the other and shout "This country was stolen from the Red Man by the White Man and I’ll keep burning flags until we give it to the Blues Man!"

Go to a City Council meeting and hold up a burning flag while making a speech saying "We need laws against this horrible act only an animal would burn the flag I mean men have died for this flag..."

Circulate a forged press release from a famous research laboratory reporting that new analytical techniques have detected naturally occurring images of the flag on tobacco fibers.

Send your Congressman a reply-paid telegram INTEND BURNING FLAG SOONEST STOP and when you get an angry response wire back WHY NOT YOU ARE WIPING ASS ON CONSTITUTION STOP.

Hang a flag on your front porch upside down and when someone says "Hey that’s disrespectful" stand on your head.