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This poem should be read together with my other poem titled "Let Go". It was written about the same boy, who single-handedly broke my heart and also indirectly gave me an opportunity to grow and discover myself.

I don't need someone to feel complete. It took me a while to realize that.

He probably doesn't know the extent of his impact on me and on my life, but well~ He doesn't need to know. :)

This poem is another way of looking at my relationship with him. It takes on a lighter, more positive tone, where I realized one day that my feelings for him no longer bring me pain and sorrow, but a comfortable feeling instead. Maybe instead of comfort it is actually a deadened feeling, where my heart protects itself from any thoughts of him. I don't know. But I choose to take the lighter route.

Now, my feelings for him have petered out, when I see him I no longer feel the crazy, intense things I used to feel, but more of a "oh it's Nicholas" kind of feeling. :)

But at times I do ponder, what would it be like to be in a relationship with him? He really is a pretty great guy, although maybe not the one for me.

Enjoy!

For Nicholas

Pz-avatarby Lerizsoupe08 Oct 2016

I thought about you today
While listening to that band
We both love.

I had been feeling this unbearable
Pain
Deep down in my heart,
And the music cured it,
Like magic for the soul.

And I thought of how
You could do it too;
Have the same impact on me.

Now when I think of you,
Its a comfortable feeling.
It sits in my heart
Like it belongs there.

I've grown so used to
These thoughts of you,
That they no longer surprise
Or anguish me.

Maybe
My heart has subconsciously taken
All the pain, and turned them
Into something beautiful.

Like how an oyster
Grows around the painful grains of sand that
Press into its soft vulnerable flesh,
So I have learnt to take the pain that comes
With memories of you.

And just like the oyster,
I keep taking on the pain,
Wrapping it in layers of your laughter,
Thoughts of your smile,
Of your eyes,
Of your antics,
Until it becomes a pearl.

Maybe
I'll just keep this pearl
Next to my heart,
And wait

Until I'm ready

To tell you.