Pep Talk (Open Letter To Singles)

Learning_to_fly_portraitby Michael J. Sielaff19 Oct 2013

You are a catch, Michael.
Yep- this is what it has come to after 27 years of singleness:
Pumping up my ego just so I know it's still there.
Ideally, I'd like to be humble,
Slaving away in a cottage with three evil step brothers
One my Princess will come...
But that's not gender appropriate, is it?
The man is the dashing Prince who saves the beautiful servant From a life of hardship and struggle-
Sweeping her off her feet and riding off into the sunset.
But, hey, this guy has got dreams too.
I got dreams of locking eyes with that Princess-
Silently knowing the spark there only burns for each another.
I got dreams of effortlessly talking to her
Until the dimming of coffee shop lights confuse us-
Realizing hours of conversation went by
Without remembering time exists.
I got dreams of being challenged by her
To view the traditional untraditionally.
I got dreams of being joyful content by simply holding hands As we melt into one.
But that's the thing with dreams-
They are visions of optimism in a life where
Pessimism is more appropriate.
Being optimistic to find all-inclusive love will only happen When my time and attention is accepted a as a gift
And not an option.
Oh, boo-hoo, huh?
“I feel sooooo sorry for you, Michael!”
“You are a great guy!”
“You'll find someone!”
Hey- I'm not bringing this up for a collective “Ahhh” or a date.
I'm bringing it up because I know there is a guy out there
Who is compulsively refreshing their
Okcupid profile because she MAY have responded.
I'm bringing it up because I know there is a guy out there
Thinking he's not attractive or suave enough
To play the game of dating.
I'm bringing it up because I know there is guy
Who has a crush on a friend but doesn't want
To cross the line and ruin a friendship
I'm bring it up because I know there is a guy
Who is in love with a women
Who is committed to someone else.
I'm bringing it up because there is a guy
Who has had his heart broken by a girl
Who only needs him when she doesn't have plans.
You are not alone.
You are a catch.
You are a catch because
You don't want a responsibility-free one-night stand.
You are a catch because
You look into her eyes and not her breasts.
You are a catch because
You realize there's nobody in the world like her.
So in between excuses of “Lack of chemistry”
And “I'm not looking for a boyfriend right now”
Understand that it's not you.
Excuses used to soften the blow hurt more
Because honesty is being tip-toed around.
And that's on them. Not you.
All you can do is be honest with your feelings.
We have a lot of love to give
And it is worth more than giving it to
Anyone who looks twice in our direction.
Patience will pay off.
In the meantime, we're ready.
Ready to pour ourselves into someone.
We are an army of dandelions screaming: We are NOT weeds!
Like my Uncle Paul who is in his early 50, never been married, And has had one serious girlfriend-
He has a house, a wooden leg and a great sense of humor.
He's honest, sincere, and a hard worker.
He's tired of living alone,
Of not sharing life with a woman who loves him for him.
Paul is ready. Paul is a catch.
My friend Kevin is in his early 20s-
Has been in love with the same girl for a few years now.
He just graduated college, is athletic, witty and a great listener.
He can get dates,
But the girl he can't get out of his mind has told him
“I'm not ready for a relationship” and “You're the one”
In the same breath.
He's good-natured about it, but it keeps him up at night.
Kevin is ready. Kevin is a catch.
Hearts are screaming to be noticed.
This isn't a Dashboard Confessional song
About the one that got away.
This is a blues ballad for the ignored.
Sure, Paul, Kevin and I aren't perfect-
We have faults.
But let's get them out of the way
So they're not used as an alibi later:
I'm opinionated;
I can be insecure about my thinning hair and large nose;
I'm a people-pleaser;
I talk too much;
I think being annoying is funny-
I could go on, but she'll figure them all out eventually.
And I guarantee she'll point out more imperfections
I can't see yet.
But I can't do it alone. I need her.
I'm needy.
And so are you.
Life alone is early death.
So let's talk!
I want to get to know you, not lust after you.
I'm not just some guy asking you out.
I'm waiting to vie for the Best Listener Award,
The Clear Communication Championship,
Husband Of The Year,
And The World's Greatest Dad-
Tap into my potential!
I look forward to the day
I delete this poem from my collection.
You are a catch, Michael.
Maybe pumping up ego isn't the correct term...
How about a reminder of who you really are
Instead of who you feel you've become?
How about motivation
To keep bitterness closed and eyes open.
'Cause “You're not worth it” or “It's never going to happen”
Are easy themes to buy into.
Throw me back in the sea and let me freely swim.
Friendship will be the in-between as I wait for
That smile that was only meant for me.
It will be that moment both of our hearts skip a beat.
A sign that we're both lucky
To catch each other simultaneously.
You're a catch, Michael-
And you bit because she is too.