Particles.

Dsc02480by Michelle Seyner24 Sep 2019

Do you ever wonder, during the evening,
when the world is dreamy, but not yet asleep,
how many particles it took
to make up: YOU?
How much star dust is scattered
in your eyes, to behold the universe
from a perspective even your
molecules are surprised at?
Do you ever ask yourself
how many generations
your DNA has walked
the spiral staircase
to end up, curled inside you,
as PRECISELY you?!
I know I stand in the ashes
of ancestors, the grandparents
whose deeds and characters
I loathed, and, yet, who mingle
in me as two sides of the
colonial coin. And my other
grandparents were to me
equal parts deity and human,
love and star light condensed
in so lovely a human form,
and such strength in gentle hands.
And their laughter and their smile
light my path still, always will,
even decades after their particles
have turned to dust.
And am I not the sum
of all THEIR particles,
and of those before them,
maybe leading back
to before time was counted
as we know it? Leading back
to a world both better and worse
than this one?
And isn't it wondrously odd,
fascinatingly miraculous,
that I, in turn, gave the best
of MY particles to these two
young people I have the honor
of calling "my children",
and this mysterious alchemy,
this sacred mystery
may be continued through one of them,
and I will wonder how much
stardust is scattered in
the eyes of my grandchildren
to behold a universe from a perspective
even their molecules will be surprised at -
If my children, and yours,
are not the last generation
to live on a planet that is
still habitable...
...I will once be the
ashes of an ancestor,
my DNA walking through
generations of the spiral
staircase, to end up,
curled up, inside someone,
who, one day, will ask,
during an evening, when
the world is dreamy
but not yet sleepy:
how many particles
it took to make up THEM.

24 September 2019.
Michelle Seyner.