Read introduction

Cynical Moi?...No! - Parliament contains the same mix of people as any other walk of life, it's just that we expect higher standards of MP's, so when some fail us the disappointment is more hurtful.

I Want To Be an MP

Dscn0013by Blogpoet07 Mar 2014

I'm told the main attributes required
Are to be vain and insatiably greedy
So I reckon I have the perfect CV
And although modesty forbids,
That's me...
Down to a tee.

I can't wait to buy a second home
In a posh part of London
Where the influential and wealthy roam,
Living next door to a multi-millionaire
Will bring lucrative opportunities
Into my expensive new lair.

That John Lewis catalogue
Is just waiting to be viewed,
I can buy everything I see
And although I know it's crude
I can recoup the money
As expenses...yet another freebie.

I want to appear on 'Question Time'
Become a celeb on the BBC
Oh!... wouldn't that just feed my vanity,
And even if I just repeat my Party's bullshit
At least some of the audience
Will rapturously applaud it.

I can even employ my spouse
To look after the constituents' woes,
Why should I be bothered with that
I only need those boring twats
When I want them to vote for me,
Because unfortunately, it's a democracy.

Public service is a snout in the trough
And with taxpayers money
You can't get enough!
Expenses, expenses, expenses...all tax free,
So please, please, please
Vote for greedy, grubby, grasping me.