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This is my Heart of Longing popping up again...

My Heart of Hearts

Fdf5205c-8b5b-4da8-a6dc-63fe28d680a9by Billy J. Stewart04 Feb 2016

I can say what I like,
I can think without pain, or confusion,
Believing and loving,
Loving and believing,
Deep, in my heart of hearts.
There, no-one will laugh at me,
Or bite the head off me for being stupid,
Or insensitive.
Or autistic in my usual way. No, not in there.
You know, it’s strange, even at the best of times,
I mean, trying to be someone I’m not,
As I do.
Sure you know fine well I do.
But underneath the textured layers of armour-plating,
Inside the three-inch thick exoskeleton of tempered steel,
You know - my painstaking creation, my Opus Magnum,
Deep in the bunker here,
It’s really me. No, really.
Oh this heart yearns, it cries, it calls to you,
But I perceive that you…that you cannot hear it now,
And it’s not for me to try to figure it out.
No, not any more.
I just know that here…
Here it’s always the same,
The sun that rose above us, long, long ago will never set,
In my heart of hearts.