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One of several relating to dealing with depression. From the inside.
I have to admit I borrowed the phrase "rictus of agony" from Wilfred Owen. Not my fault he lived 100 years before me and got to it first!

Doors

Fdf5205c-8b5b-4da8-a6dc-63fe28d680a9by Billy J. Stewart27 Dec 2013

Ghost-dreams,
Holding my soul in a rictus of agony.
Oh to be able to run from this place,
Go anywhere, do anything.
There is no justice in such a tortured calling,
No conviction to choose, no will to try.
Cut loose from within this insipid limbo,
Counting lines on the face of real time,
Looking at doors.
Yesterday was a time for living the chase,
Pumped full of venom and slicing the fog like a mad thing,
Vision like ice.
Now is a different day, seeing with no recognition,
Sending out a glazed stare.
Walls full of animism, arrows of paranoia,
Cold reflections on doors.
I will kick them in, and in kicking,
I will crash through them, and in such a stumbling,
Disperse this gruesome anathema into a new air...