Read introduction

All my life I have written stuff down, some poetic maybe, other just letting go. I am viewed as a weirdo by some (they tell me so) because of my tendencies with the written word. This poem is just me trying to make sense of it.
In fact it reminds me of the Jack Nicholson film "The Shining". To us poets, this is our wee "shining", though hopefully without the need to go through a door with an axe..!
I suppose we all just want to be understood and accepted, especially by family.

A Weirdo such as Me

Fdf5205c-8b5b-4da8-a6dc-63fe28d680a9by Billy J. Stewart20 Apr 2014

In sitting here, reminded I,
Of sins past, of slashing cuts once meted out,
The ‘whelming tide unchecked,
Surges, raging o’er my aching head.
In drowning here, and choking I,
Reach out to grasp at air.
So must then I,
Regurgitating, ruminating, chowing the cud of Karma
See there the broken house,
My house..?
Spoiled and ravished, all treasures torn from me,
And words received and given once, my gifts of meaning,
Strewn, sodden, soaked.
Recalcitrant, yes, here kicking I,
Receive my just deserts,
Deserving so for my reward.
And when to lift my head, there trying I,
To speak a word,
To let it go,
To get it out,
Fail a thousand scenes relived, to fail again.
Nor there, in my tormenting, can capture I,
These hidden, uninvited lodgers,
Raw, naked, ugly.
Then no-one comes to listen, to for a second gather,
What scatters softly from,
A weirdo such as me.