Ah yes…feet up, hard day at the office.
Big mugga tay, broadsheet of the middle-classes laid out on coffee table,
Glasses perched at end of nose,
Phasors to “Grumpy Basket”.
Its hard work putting the world to right, so best get started.
Rising, half-read paper in hand, sheets falling out,
“If that cat has shat on my raised borders again I’ll…”
On opening the door it all becomes clear,
He stands there, beaming smile, hand extended,
Before I knew it, before I could engage brain, it was out.
“Aw shite, its Buggerlugs!”
Water off a ducks back, he continued without breaking sweat,
“Pleased to meet you too, hope you know where to place your X next week!”
Now if he only knew, if he only could read my mind.
It involved an axe all right.
And I knew where I wanted to place it.
Shoving a party leaflet in my hand he turned down the drive,
Past my lovely hydrangea, and the marigolds, I hope he noticed the marigolds,
Past the flimmin’ neighbour’s cat,
Past the Vectra, I think he touched the wing mirror.
And on to next door, poor buggers.
I stood there, holding his glossy piece of party political tat.
Retreating inside my wee castle, I pulled up the drawbridge and loaded the canon.
I’ll be ready next time!