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Just a clever metaphor to describe the daily battles

Veteran War

Imageby Carlos Crispin09 Jan 2014

I'm afraid of letting too many days go by without writing, that I'll forget what it feels like to enjoy the beauty of watching ink spill like autumn leaves...
So here I am,
Exchanging old war stories with a couple of strangers

World War I:

In my world, they didn't wait until you were 18 to enter you in the draft
I was born a soldier,
A family filled with war vets
My home was filled with infallible clichés and my heart was never where I resided...
I had days when the front line was my home and my confidence was the casualty,
You see my sister would often drop F bombs like
"Choco you're fat" or "you fat lard"–
They even changed my name to fat boy and saluted me whenever I would ask for more food at dinner

My world,
Open mouths sound a lot like drive byes and
Lips, reminded me of war so you can imagine how I felt to be sun kissed,
PDS resonating in my pigment.
If being fat wasn't enough
My skin tone never made me at ease
Or swoon a platoon of women

And they wonder why I was afraid to pull the trigger on a conversation with a woman–
The stench of Melancholy seeping through exit wounds as greetings lie there,
lifeless...

If love is blind, why was I cursed with 20/20 vision?
I wasn't able to love myself because I saw all my imperfections,
I was the whole in the wall that didn't allow any one to see me

In my world
Im afraid I'll get too comfortable with good byes—
Seems No one stays around long enough for nostalgia,
Why I don't listen to music often—
I hate awkward run ins with memories on a track, that could cause me to relapse and have euphoria Jump the gun...

I have Nights I shot for the moon came back with blood shot eyes coping with this war world I, I no longer live in—
I've never been the one to gamble with my life but with these insecurities it's like a game of Russian roulette, I wonder what's going to kill my vibe today and blow my chances with someone who has courage to say hello

You see,
Life and death are in the power of the tongue and I've wondered,
why I'm so obsessed with lips?
maybe it's the pastures of broken hearts?

But Words are now easier to digest when your heart doesn't burn from stray bullets And
It took years to be able to look in the mirror,
conscience of battle scars
But it made me who I am

So here I am,
With a Purple Heart
Exchanging War stories....

"My tears are bullets and my eyes are loaded guns"- novel