24 year old soliloquy

Imageby Carlos Crispin11 Nov 2014

It's been some weeks now
That I've had these bottled emotions reeking through my pores
Coping with the fact, the truth hurts
so I've popped a few of these pain pills
They say never mix the two but what is a man suppose to do when its his birthday and I'm trying to turn up—
and forget that I wasted 23 years on pointless wishes
But I find myself taking the scenic route to a beach inebriated— thinking about how I let another year go by and I'm left
wishing someone didn't let me
behind the pen, Writing under the influence...
There I go wishing again
I guess that's what happens when you spend hours at a time looking at the sticky notes that didn't quite make it to the moon, because they were too lazy to run with shooting stars— to remind myself of all the dreams I had

I had aspiration to be a poet
Turns out, I became an escape artist, avoiding kodak moments because a picture is worth a thousand words, and truthfully this job doesn't pay well...
safe to say I won't be posting this on Instagram with The past stapled to my skin showing the times I've been burned
Why I've eluded friendships and relationships for so long my brother is beginning to worry, he said I should try looking online

I wonder what my profile would be? well I'm funny and my heart is a comedian full of bad knock knock jokes— I'm sure they'll get a kick out of that...
I'm not a fan of the sunsets because I can hear the Awkward silence that plays like elevator music between my shadow and I, trying its best to comfort the loneliness...
I enjoy giving gifts, hoping you can
Unravel the Vulgar revelation that after 20 some odd years, I still hate the feeling of being vulnerable.
You would think they created a time machine the way my hopes live in the past—
Yea that should be a real lady killer,
Wait until they see my resume...
I Mind my own business so I don't join the company of others
A man can go bankrupt investing in people
I'm not sure if I'm making any cents (sense) now a days but I'll spare you the boredom of me rambling in this profile until we meet...
I'm not sure I should put this in but I heard chicks dig honesty—
I avoid commitment, even thoughts of suicide, there's been so many times I cheated death— I'm a tad bit thrill seeker and I hope you get a thrill out of this profile...

Who am I kidding
I don't need a witty metaphor to tell you how real life can get and leave you emotionally intolerant...