Read introduction

For everyone who thinks that change is over rated.

Plus in the spirit of beta testing, I've recorded (quietly late at night) the poem as an AudioBoo.


Imageby Robert Harper10 Jul 2013

There are 51 updates
for my iPhone
boring a tiny hole
into my circuit board skull
an electronic woodpecker
picking at my brain
training me in an endless
cycle of under appreciation.

Who cares if Overdub
has fixed crash after
dragging a sound clip
backwards? Or that
now I can search
for my own pins.
I won't win favour
for being concerned with
the new Firecracker puzzle.

iPhone 5 support is
vastly overrated in
my humble opinion.
For performance enhancements
read, mind numbingly slow
on your outdated,
not so smart now are you,
techno reject phone.

Osmos? Who remembers
that and now with
4 new achievements
to attain with minor UI
changes and fixes.
Just for good measure
Inuktitut language support
is now included. Thank god.

Exclusive moods and
minor fixes, future updates
guaranteed, non-square frames,
I'm counting on the
Drag 'n Dash mini game.
Gift the app, effects for
summer, will they really
help me care a jot about
your brand new intro flow.

Update now. Bring
new jetpacks and costumes
to the forefront of your
daily grind. There's no chaos
in your order if online
you deny twice the terror
under the realm. Before
Unicode keyboard support
how on earth did my girl
craft mines? Mind boggles.

Oh look, more social stats,
by golly we need some more
of that. I'm positively crying -
Dear lord, why have we not
had this before. At least
my scores can now compete
with you all
on global leaderboards.