It Wasn't Enough

Img_0780by Sally Fisher13 Oct 2016

Started off ignoring the signs, should have read them right the first time

I guess I was blown over just like all those before me

(And after);

I felt special, loved, adored, like everything fell into place

So blinded that I didn’t notice how much fell apart;

I just wanted to be with someone who loved me back.

We had a future, we built a life, we built ourselves a home.

It wasn’t enough.

The shared experience, the love, the fun,

The held hands, the laughs, the adventures,

The nights out, the nights in, the home cooked dinners,

The evenings spent with friends.

It wasn’t enough.

The money spent on Xbox games,

The money spent on dinners out,

The holidays, the families, the football games,

It wasn’t enough.

Spending days off together in town,

Getting tattoos, drinking milkshakes, the cinema,

Buying gifts and treats

And Pokémon Go on the beach

It wasn’t enough.

Texting other girls,

Meeting other girls,

Nights spent in waiting for him to come home

Not knowing who he was with,

Knowing in my heart I was better off alone

Than suffering the paranoia so quickly labelled as jealousy

I was always in the wrong,

Waiting for him to come home,

It wasn’t enough.

Dinners going cold,

Last minute texts,

Waiting for him to come home,

He never came home.

It wasn’t enough.

He wasn’t enough.