Unresponding

Whatsapp_image_2019-03-24_at_16.04.23__1_by Jessica Hopkins16 Jan 2019

I spent my Summer

staring at the lighter fluid on the
campsite table, and wondering

how much of it would kill me
and how painful it might be.

I spent my Spring

sitting in the shower
listening to my dress clog up the
drain as the bathroom slowly
flooded.

I spent Each Day

sitting in the same room
feeling the same thick needles
probe
at my quiet, unresponding skin.

listening to the tips of my mouth
wind down
heavy with the weight of your
absence,

staring into space and making no
effort to hide

as my words repeated themselves
and I lost control -

- And I lost you.