stop feeling

Whatsapp_image_2019-03-24_at_16.04.23__1_by Jessica Hopkins05 Apr 2019

Is it always just as insincere

each sob and each effort to feel -
just to stop feeling?

is every single word as artificial
as it seems
making each moment
surreal, a version of myself
that does not exist

I can't feel you
i can't feel

and yet I like it here. I want to stay.
it is familiar
it is warm under my duvet
and dark with the curtains closed

it is peaceful knowing
it is okay to give up.