Can I step out

onto the road

is it okay

if the next car hits me

crashing, skull against glass
against ground.

Can I stop
breathing
just for a minute, maybe more?

Can I disappear —

this is not the life I wanted.

I feel forced into unfamiliar skin.
dull pain, constant
a weight on my chest,
endless.

Can I stop breathing
for good?

Don’t tell me I would be missed:

It does not matter