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Finally, absolute proof that we are not alone!

Proper Good Zen.

Me_at_lleisiau_2by SJ Alexanderson18 Nov 2013

I've been abducted by aliens,
I've seen how the other half live –
They took me away on a spaceship
Like an upside down silver sieve.
They flew all over our planet…
Showed me things that I’d never seen,
And took me to interesting places
And probed me where nobody’s been!

They were grey with really thin ankles,
And slim, as slim as can be –
They spoke in very high voices
And communicated with me.
They told me that I was a “special,”
A hybrid between them and man –
I told them I didn't believe it
And opened a Special Brew can.

The aliens joined in with my drinking –
They laughed as they staggered about,
But the atmosphere got quite heated
As an argument soon broke out.
They may be intelligent creatures
But they sure can’t handle their beer –
They started to fight with each other
And one of them bit off an ear!

They wrestled all over the flight deck
And I saw that this was my chance,
So I lurched to the co-pilots’ cabin
As we sped through the skies over France.
I pulled on this weird looking handle
And engaged it to warp factor ten –
Two aliens fell out of the back door
Which I thought was proper good Zen!

The next thing I pushed was a button
Which turned from red into green,
Then numbers came up on the dashboard
And the wipers they cleaned the windscreen.
We travelled through time to the future
To an age when apes were in power –
Their leader was called Charlton Heston
And he sang in the nude to a flower!

I’m not having this I decided –
This world was way too surreal,
So I typed in the year that I came from
And clung on to the pink steering wheel.
We travelled through time and dimensions –
Some things were too strange for my head,
I've seen things that nobody should have –
Like a blow-up sheep by a bed!

By now though my hosts were quite sober
And rushed to the locked cabin door –
They pulled out their ray guns and fired
And walked through the gap on the floor.
It was in the struggle that followed
That the date that I’d set was then changed…
It was now 1947 –
This was almost as if pre-arranged.

Right then I thought that they’d kill me,
But the spaceship it shuddered and shook –
The aliens they looked rather worried
And one of them shouted “Oh flook!”
We crashed in the sands of the desert,
The result of a dry battery cell –
And I was the only survivor
Of the craft that went down in Roswell.

So don’t let them fool you – it happened,
For I watched from atop of a dune
When the men in black came a calling
Armed with a weather balloon!
It sure was a crazy adventure
In an age and a time long ago,
But take my advice and please think twice
Before flying your own U.F.O.!