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This poem is an attempt to highlight the difficulty of personal adjustment following the death of a long-term partner.

On Celluloid.

Me_at_lleisiau_2by SJ Alexanderson21 Nov 2013

I gaze upon your photograph
Remembering that day…
Your beauty and your perfect smile
On celluloid they stay.
It sits there on my mantelpiece –
In view for all to see,
Reminding me of days we shared
When we were young and free.

And when I look, it takes me on
A journey back in time…
When life was slow and easy paced
And loving so sublime.
We had the world right at our feet –
We planned to make our mark,
Now all I have are memories
And life has lost its’ spark.

And yet, we ran our race one time…
We ran beneath blue skies –
The summer sun upon our backs
And grass against our thighs.
We laughed and sang and talked of love…
How precious life could be –
Embracing every moment
As we built our destiny.

The weeks and months and years roll by
So quickly now it seems…
And through the haze I realise
We did achieve our dreams.
No matter what life threw at us
We coped, through thick and thin –
Because we stood together
And the love we shared within.

But now you've gone, I find it hard
To deal with what’s ahead…
I miss your positivity,
I miss you in our bed.
And salty tears run down my face…
Though you’d say “Smile for me…”
For you have got a new life now
On high amongst the free…

I know you’re right – you always were…
And yet the pain is raw –
I miss your presence in the room
And footsteps on the floor…
The way you whispered in my ear
And how you smiled at me –
The way we laughed together
As we sat and watched tv.

They say that time will heal the gulf
Of emptiness I feel,
Yet I can’t see this happening –
The pain is too surreal.
But I will try because I know
It’s what you’d want for me…
And though you’re in a better place
We've still a destiny.