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I wanted to write a piece that highlights some of the complex issues faced in relationships in modern society, especially when children are involved and how they perceive third-party parents and parenting. I wanted to explore the deep implications that these new relationships have on all involved both physically and emotionally particularly when they don't unfold as planned. From the point of new love to the ultimate heartbreak at yet another emotional failure. The piece is powerful and emotive, but there again ... so is life.

TICK ... TOCK

Me_at_lleisiau_2by SJ Alexanderson30 Sep 2014

Trauma and tragedy - bedfellows grim …
Illness and ailments, personal sin …
What’s to become of my young when I die?
Will they mourn for my loss with a tear in their eye?

Emotional holocausts … sexual desires …
Egos still smoulder due to the fires
That raged deep within, inside primeval soul
Blacker than blackest anthracite coal.

Shot to oblivion … shot through the heart
Yet no sign of blood - at least at the start …
Caught in the crossfire … tumbling down …
Forgive me my children, “Son, here, have my crown.”

I tried, Lord I tried to be good through my life,
Yet I bled from those wounds that she cut with the knife …
That weapon of hatred, that weapon so base
That she wielded that day with a smile on her face.

And she slashed it, and plunged it, and drained me of blood
But the power within me it grew … as it could
And my children, dear children – they watched from afar
As their father succumbed … “Don’t go sweet Papa.”

Whilst there in the background the hands never stop …
Relentlessly onwards tick-tocking, tick tock
And they alter my person, my children as well
And steer to the dark side of my living hell.

But then I met YOU, YOU relit my fire …
You made me feel human, you made me desire …
To live again oh, and your touch was sublime,
And God he made woman for you were divine.

Flames of pure passion … infernos of lust
“I want to be with you ‘til I turn to dust …”
And you nod and agree and succor me in
And you teach the true meaning of personal sin.

And I’m lost in your arms … and I’m lost in your thighs
I need look no further than into your eyes …
For there I see lust and a gift for all men
As we dance the lambada below sheets once again.

And the passion within me, it rises yet higher
Whilst you are impaled on my sexual desire …
And it’s earthy, organic, oh babe it’s unreal
And the love that we share is fucking surreal.

But, sex on its’ own – no matter how good
Just isn't enough, though the orgasms flood
Our emotions and cover the cracks
Relationships falter when they’re on different tracks.

Then it’s pain again, pain again, pain ‘til the end
That’s it … no more hurting, for I can’t pretend
That the scars on my heart will ever repair
As I drop to the depths of my human despair.

And I wallow in pity, I wallow in pain …
And I weep and I weep again and again –
But maybe, just maybe, there’s someone out there
Who’ll love me, who’ll help me, who’ll heal me with care?

If not, then my children it’s me on my own …
Don’t lay me down yet or plan words for that stone
For I've been there … and now, I say now let’s move on
There’s a time to lament and it’s after I've gone.

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