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The title says it all...or so I hope.

Moment Of Insanity

Sp_regby Soulistic_Poet®12 Jan 2014

I think I’m having a moment of clarity…
Fuck
I think it’s more like a moment of insanity
My mind is racing and attacking me
I worry there’s no getting back to me
I’ve crossed too many lines
And fell into tragedy
I swear these fucking demons are after me

I think I’m finally flying free…
Fuck
I think it’s more like I’m falling into insanity
Somebody should donate to this charity
The skeletons in my closet have captured me
Tortured me
And raped my sanctity
Impregnated me with dreams then aborted the seed

I think I can finally see…
Fuck
I think it’s more like I’m hallucinating due to insanity
I keep seeing my best friend as an enemy
She’s pissed because she keeps on telling me
“I love you but you’re not letting me
Move past my discretions and into our destiny”
I keep screaming the problem is her
When I know it’s me

I think I found my identity…
Fuck
I think it’s just more fuckery mixed with insanity
I walk the streets and see them judging me
Questioning my honesty but honestly
They wouldn’t have a clue of the truth even if they knew all of me
The world loves the comfort of labeling my sexuality
They love the condemning quality found in Christianity
So crazily I pray my Lord just loves me for me

I think I’m in love with poetry…
Fuck
I probably shouldn’t be since it perpetuates my insanity
I write these fucking lines so that I won’t write all over me
I use my skin as paper and I do it so casually
Like writing “death to self” is a sign of normalcy
Like getting all these tattoos is the cure for me
Like I’ll be happier when I use blades to explore more of me
I swear I should do better
I know this is not the way I ought to be

I think I’m improving with therapy…
Fuck
I think that’s just the delusion of my insanity
I think this world is taken the best of me
Tore them all apart and made less of me
I’m convinced there was once a blessing to me
But now only insanity is left of me
So I’m thinking of killing insanity
But I’m told it will bring forth the death of me

4-1-13

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