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For the Daily Mail...

Daily Fail

Picby Marc Lionhart25 Mar 2014

So he bleated a single wavering cliche at me when he was forced to think outside of the shell.
When something entered his head that did not belong the govern-mental antidote activated via remote airwaves, bidi-bip bidi-bip

"fear not the poison will be ejected soon. Read the funnies while the system resets"

I held my paperwork aloft accompanied by my vocal revolver and threatened with a bullet to my head. No response.
The ink began to run onto my hands, staining my skin with "do no protest" and "violence erupts! Peace disturbed! Lock your doors and windows!"

Terror! Terror!

I keep hearing of this new cult called terrorism and suddenly a label befalls me. My name badge now reads "Terrorist"
Neat little boxes containing the people, pretty bows and glitter adorn their cages. Outstretched hands cry for their Daily Fail news.

I seal the envelope housing my tick-box form. Rent? Food? Seems to be missing the "both" option.
I'll write in and correct this mistake later.
Never liked gutter food anyway.

Telephone rings, it's the fat man.

"We have reason to believe you want to help the suicidal. pack your things"

In an instant I am carted off to a rehabilitation centre for shock treatment. I hope the current doesn't entice my hard-on.
It didn't. They made damn sure they took my penis.

Questionnaire reads: Do you intend to breed? How do you feel about X-Factor? What was the last thought you had? Have you heard of George Orwell? Are you a Pedophile? How often do you access the internet? How many hours a week do you work? How much money do you have? Have you ever used a word more than 2 syllables long?

I engage in a Rorschach test shortly after.

4chan is the humour. I wanted more but it's all they had.
As I emerge I am swiped and bundled into the back of a van. Upon arrival I am thrown to the curb in an unknown location. Time to dig out a map. No need. An iphone has been placed into my pocket.

Might sleep under the stars, but the fat man wants his money. I'll work for another day. What's the worst that can happen.

Time to read the paper.