- 18 Sep 201314View
George Clooney
Listen mate!...So you're going grey
And everyone wants to copy your locks,
What about yours truly, - 19 Sep 201312View
Counting Conquests
It's headlined as five hundred
Or a thousand 'conquests'
That silly, famous males boast about,
In - 26 Sep 201311View
Tinted Car Windows.
Just in case you fancied a squint
I've added a tint
To my car windows.
Only the rear ones,
After - 13 Oct 2013View
Monosyllabic.
A tiny poem rests here,
it died before its birth,
fallen ill at the first syllable
it passed on - 14 Oct 2013View
Wilde.
Oscar was the greatest poet,
at least that's what I think,
for he was álways out of line
and - 12 Nov 201343View
Binge Drinking
Get it down quick
It doesn't matter if you're sick
Be one of the lads
And please don't fret
If - 13 Nov 20131View
Oh Please...Let Me Join The Chipping Norton Set.
Honest! If I could afford
A thoroughbred horse
I'd let Charlie train it, of course
And if I were - 07 Mar 201412View
I Want To Be an MP
I'm told the main attributes required
Are to be vain and insatiably greedy
So I reckon I have the - 12 May 2014113View
Daddy Cool
The Sales Conference went like a dream
My closing speech
Was a peach
Enthused everyone in my - 21 Jun 20141View
The Spirit of the Road
Everything’s got a soul you know.
The animals and birds,
the rocks, the rivers, flowers and - 25 Jun 20142View
Ties
In wardrobes, ties hang like curing fish, patterns like smoke. (In restaurants, avoid kippers and
- 19 Jul 2014View
Diary Poem 3
The driver’s the biggest fucker
I’ve seen in all my life
- Michelin Man incarnate, lagged in - 27 Dec 20141View
The Think Machine
Alarm sounds
I wake
I'm hopelessly in love, oh hopelessly so
I love the smell of my morning
- 01 Oct 2015View
At the Jack the Ripper museum
So first they wanted to honour
The honourful women of the East End
But then they came to think to